Uncertainty. Fear.

This week, I see my future crumble before me. I realized this after filing out my cash plan for the next months after I leave my current post in Hearst Television. This too I realized after my steady flow of disappointments, one after another, right after I wrote down how willing I am to jump off a ravine.

No job offers (not that I applied or anything), no sure income, no expected career movement. Freefalling must feel this way--falling and not knowing where or how or when to land. Not knowing if it will hurt or if an unexpected thing will happen, like Gibreel growing wings and Saladin growing hornlike appendages.

If only I knew.

But then, I'm not one to dwell on life's disappointments or tribulations. While falling, like the characters I push off the cliff, I hope I can climb back up or grow wings.

--

On the other hand, I'm currently reading Joie's Young Blood opinion in yesterday's Inquirer. This one made me teary-eyed. Joie and I are both attending RJ Nuevas' scriptwriting workshop.

Youngblood
La vida lithium
By Joie Go
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 05:09:00 01/08/2011

IF YOU share living or working space with someone who has bipolar disorder, and you claim that you have never felt (a) disdain, (b) pity, (c) irritation, (d) fear, or (e) all of the above at any given time, give yourself a pat on the back. Well done, you are a good liar. Unless emotions or bipolar disorder are entirely alien to you, you can only be lying. Not feeling any of such emotions toward someone who takes lithium with his favorite breakfast is impossible. I know. These emotions, I have drawn from my loved ones and colleagues alike. MORE...