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| Hell yeah! |
And so, instead of waiting for a second meltdown, I went out and took myself to a date. I deserve one, really. (Hey universe, I am not Jess. Singing a lot won't help me cope with a mean running gag). I took out last night's Shit List and decided to cross each one today. Here's a quick rundown of the things that made my life spastic and fuckingly miserable for the last 14 days:
Broke the bank.
Missed deadlines.
Story was stolen.
Ex-love found a girl.
Abandoned by friends.
Can't define feelings.
I am alone.
That's basically what I scribbled before I stopped and gave in to the inevitable. Anyway, I believe that a perfect day starts with seeing something beautiful. And in my current state, I had to look for the quickest on-hand solution. And so, I grabbed the clay creations I purchased from Joey's open sale last night, laid them out on the floor, scrutinized each detail, and openly wondered when I'll achieve the same perfection.
My immediate line of thought: They're so perfectly flawed. And perfectly flawed makes me happy. Therefore, by rule of basic logic, I am happy. The reasoning was very elementary. It made me smile.
Don't get the wrong idea, though. My teacher's bowls and plates were topnotch. But among the wide selection last night, there were far better ones. I could have picked those up, could have bought them instead, could have opted for the colorful unconventional pieces instead of sticking to the basic darker hues. But I didn't. The fact is this: Small details defined my concept of beauty. And in each of these pieces, I found something dainty and attractive: the miniscule spots, the rough patches, the lite dash of uneven color...
(Perhaps it is this twisted concept of perfection that makes me overglorify actions, overthink situations, and basically use superlatives to describe the simplest pleasures. So if you've met me and labeled me as mababaw, you are being judgmental.)
Apart from debunking my Shit List, I had my mind set on a nice Sebastian's strawberry ice cream (my favorite flavor) and a good hottie-filled but vampire-free movie.
The first was relatively easy. I just had to visit Podium and get myself a scoop. Ever since Sebastian's started (around five years ago), I have adored the strawberry flavor because of its very sour finish. My eyes, nose, mouth--heck, even my arms and shoulders squeeze shut when I savor S's sour ice creams. The old variety's no longer in the menu and had been replaced with balsamic strawberry. The balsamic creme drizzled on top gave the ooomph factor to the treat.
The movie date, however, purely depended on fate. With that-which-should-not-be-named vampire movie opening in theaters last week, there's little chances of seeing a decent flick. But am still lucky. The happiest deed for the day is... TA-DAH!
I still hear Adele's thick beautiful voice at the back of my head hours after my very pleasureable date with Daniel Craig. (Oohlala to the highest level!) But kilig fangirl aside, Skyfall is my first James Bond movie with DC in the title role. I was a fierce Pierce Brosnan fan, partly because the folks adored him and I grew up seeing him in the dapper suit. I like DC's Bond but I miss the "male camp" present in the old flicks. (Think wristwatches that can do everything and cars that turn into submarines--and yeah, a villain named Octopussy.)
After the movie: Me: What lonely? I am so high right now.
When I got home, I decided that instead of crossing out my Shit List, I just made a counterpart: a Bright Side List, as inspired by my latest book find, Hancock Park by Isabel Kaplan. (Teen Lit is my required reading in preparation for TeenGen.) Here's what I wrote in my BS List:
On the Bright Side: My next pay will be waaay bigger than the previous one. Woohoo!
On the Bright Side: My editors are sweet, nice, and fully understands my mood swings. Maybe I can charm my way for an extension...? ;)
On the Bright Side: I have two more concepts that are FAAAARRR better than that one.
On the Bright Side: I am a better person now so I deserve a better man. I also feel a new love coming. I know because the universe is fixing my life.
On the Bright Side: I don't have enemies! Hah!
As for the "I am alone" part... Well, every once in awhile, shit happens. Shit feeling happens. But I realize: there won't be highs if there are no lows; being alone doesn't mean being lonely; and behind every challenge is an opportunity. So at the end of the day, just smile. I am loved. - 11/26/2012
 Monday. Despite my hurting peepers and the...){kind=link}
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